True Confessions Read online

  Synopsis

  Being in love with your best friend shouldn’t be this difficult.

  Lesbian novelist Lynn Patrick returns home to Portland, Oregon, for the holidays and discovers that her lifelong friend, Jessie, has separated from her husband. During a game of True Confessions, Lynn finally sees her chance to admit her feelings for Jessie, but she doesn’t take it. She knows Jessie needs a friend now, and not another complication at this point in her life.

  For Jessica Greenfield, nothing has ever been simple. Her father was abusive, and she married a man just like him. Her husband has already put her in the hospital once and has threatened her since they separated. All Jessie cares about is protecting the people she loves, and that includes her six-year-old daughter, Amber.

  When Jessie’s husband shows up looking to make good on his threats, Lynn finds herself caught in the middle. Will Lynn and Jessie be able to weather the storm, or will he succeed in keeping them apart forever?

  True Confessions

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  eBooks from Bold Strokes Books, Inc.

  eBooks are not transferable. They cannot be sold, shared or given away as it is an infringement on the copyright of this work.

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  True Confessions

  © 2011 By PJ Trebelhorn. All Rights Reserved.

  ISBN 13: 978-1-60282-511-6

  This Electronic Book is published by

  Bold Strokes Books, Inc.

  P.O. Box 249

  Valley Falls, New York 12185

  First Edition: April 2011

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any form without permission.

  Credits

  Editors: Victoria Oldham and Shelley Thrasher

  Production Design: Stacia Seaman

  Cover Design By Sheri ([email protected])

  By the Author

  From This Moment On

  True Confessions

  Acknowledgments

  This book has been a long time coming, and I want to thank Len Barot and Bold Strokes Books for giving me the opportunity to finally see it published. I truly am blessed to be a part of the BSB family.

  To my beta readers Nikki G. and Cathy R.—your help was invaluable in shaping this one up. I cannot thank you enough.

  To my editor, Victoria Oldham—I thank you for once again helping me through the process of making this a better book. And to Shelley Thrasher, your help was also very much appreciated, and I know your words of wisdom will help me in future works.

  To cover artist Sheri—wow. I really don’t know what to say about your work that hasn’t been said already. You are truly amazing.

  Dedication

  For Cheryl,

  because you continue to support me in this madness.

  I can’t even begin to tell you how much you mean to me.

  Chapter One

  Lynn Patrick glanced at the calendar. She’d been trying to write for the past four hours because her next novel was due for edits in eight weeks. But all she could think about was leaving San Francisco the next morning to drive six hundred plus miles to Portland for three weeks of December. She made the trip every year to her hometown to celebrate her parents’ anniversary, her younger brother’s birthday, and Christmas. And every year before that trip, she suffered these same anxiety attacks. They had nothing to do with her family and absolutely everything to do with Jessica Greenfield.

  Despite the miles that separated them, Lynn and Jessie managed to keep in touch through phone calls and e-mails. They were still best friends, as they had been since second grade. Even Lynn moving away from home right after high school hadn’t changed that fact. It had been her dream to go to Hollywood and become a screenwriter, but when she made it as far as San Francisco she fell in love with the city and never left. After a few years of trying to sell her screenplays, she finally decided to try writing novels. She’d become successful, but not rich. Eventually she’d accepted that she’d never have a New York Times bestseller as a lesbian romance novelist.

  Sometime during the next weeks she and Jessie would spend time together, and this year, like every year, Lynn considered telling Jessie she loved her. But every year Jessie’s husband and six-year-old daughter, Amber, kept Lynn from saying a word about it. She shook her head at her fantasy. Jessie was straight and had a family. Lynn would never actually tell Jessie how she felt, but she kept on dreaming about what might be.

  Lynn sighed and stretched back in her chair, trying to relax. Oscar, her very aloof feline companion, gave a bored yawn from his hammock-style window seat a few feet away. The gorgeous view of the Golden Gate Bridge was wasted on the cat, but he loved sitting in that window. Luckily, with the open loft, the view was exquisite from every window.

  “Oh, please. Like your life is any more exciting than mine.” She tossed her pen on the desk then headed to the kitchen for some wine. Glass in hand, she’d just settled into the couch when the phone rang.

  “Hey, big sister.”

  Lynn grinned at her brother Charlie’s greeting. He liked to make it sound as if she were ancient, when she was actually only thirty-three, a year older than he was. They’d always been close, and Charlie calmed her nerves. He’d been her rock for most of her adult life.

  “What’s up, Chuck?” Lynn laughed while he groaned in response to the tired old line.

  “Jesus, what are we, twelve?” He laughed too, but Lynn knew he hated the nickname—which is exactly why she continued to use it. “I have some news for you, and I really think I should get something in return.”

  “It’s that big, huh?” She put her feet up on the coffee table and lifted her arm as Oscar pushed his way onto her lap, his motor running loudly.

  “The biggest. What’s your best offer?”

  “I’ll be civil to your witch of a wife for the holidays.” Lynn sipped her wine and shuddered. Charlie’s wife hated her and wouldn’t let Lynn anywhere near their kids. She seemed convinced that Lynn was some kind of recruiter for homosexuals, as though her sexual preference was infectious and her kids would catch lesbian cooties. “On second thought, I rescind that offer.”

  “No need, since she won’t be around anyway. She finally decided to take the kids and move back home to her mother.”

  Lynn almost spat her wine all over herself and Oscar. She bent to place her glass on the table and Oscar jumped down, tossing her a dirty look over his shoulder while he sauntered away, swishing his gray tail.

  “She left you? Holy crap, that is big news.”

  “Believe it or not, that isn’t the news I’m calling about. We can talk about my marital woes over a few drinks while you’re in town.”

  “Deal. So tell me what you did call for, because if it’s not that, it must be really big.”

  “I ran into Jessie Greenfield at the supermarket this afternoon. Have you talked to her lately?”

  “Why? What’s going on?” Lynn quickly lost her patience when it came to news about Jessie. “Is she all right?”

  “Her husband left about a week ago to work some construction job in Las Vegas. He’ll be gone until after the first of the year.”

  “He’s an architect, Charlie. Sometimes he goes to a site to troubleshoot problems with a design. What’s so big about that?”

  “I got the distinct impression this is more than a simple job away from home.” He paused, obviously waiting for her to say something. She managed to resist, if only to i
rritate the hell out of him. “I think they’ve separated.”

  Lynn’s heart stuttered and she clutched the phone tighter. She closed her eyes. For the past eight years she’d dreamt of the day Jessie finally woke up and realized what an ass Wayne was.

  “She actually told you that?” They’d lived across the street from Jessie’s family for years, and while they’d all been fairly close, she couldn’t envision Jessie sharing that kind of information with Charlie. Especially since Jessie probably would have told her about something that big herself.

  “Well, not exactly,” he admitted. “She said he wouldn’t be here for Christmas, and I made some remark about how it must be really rough to be apart for the holidays. She just shrugged and didn’t say anything else about it.”

  “And from that brief conversation you concluded that they separated? Charlie, you must be a genius. Should I call Mensa?” Lynn laughed, but he grumbled something on the other end of the line. “What was that? I missed what you said.”

  “I said you’re a bitch.” She would have thought he meant it if he hadn’t started laughing. “You can make fun of me all you want, but you wait. I’ll bet you twenty bucks they’re separated. In fact, I’ll bet you fifty that they’re headed for divorce.”

  Lynn heard a knock and glanced at the front door. “I’m not about to bet on the state of Jessie’s marriage. I’ve got to go. See you tomorrow.”

  “What time are you getting here?”

  “I’m leaving first thing in the morning, so hopefully I’ll get there around dinnertime.”

  They said their good-byes, and Lynn hung up as she opened the door.

  Shit.

  “You forgot,” Bri said without emotion, and with only a cursory glance at Lynn. She walked in without being invited and headed straight for the kitchen, most probably to get herself a glass of wine. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, really. You always seem to forget when we’ve planned to go out to the bar. Even when we talked about it a few hours ago.”

  “I didn’t forget,” Lynn lied. She shut the door and returned to her seat on the couch. Lynn looked down at her clothes—jeans with holes where the knees should be and an ancient Portland Winterhawks T-shirt, but she loved her hometown junior hockey team. She held the phone out to Bri in a weak attempt to explain herself. “I was just about to call you. I really don’t feel like doing the bar scene tonight.”

  Bri cocked her head to the side and tried to touch her forehead, but Lynn backed away.

  “I don’t believe you were going to call me, but something else troubles me more. Are you sick?” Bri asked sincerely. “Since when does Lynn Patrick not feel like hanging out in the bars? I believe you once told me how you love the variety of women here in San Francisco. Perhaps you’re getting too old to keep up with the demands all of these women make on your time.”

  “Bite your tongue.” Lynn gasped in mock horror.

  “Maybe you should have stayed with Mandy instead of dumping her for someone hotter. You’d have gotten some sleep, anyway.”

  “But I wouldn’t have had as much fun,” Lynn said, and grinned. The blind date Bri had set her up with the night before had been turning into a monotonous exercise until the bartender had passed Lynn her phone number. The boring date was gone in a flash, and the bartender had made good on her promise to show Lynn a good time. All night. “That’s not why I don’t want to go. I’ve got a hell of a long drive tomorrow. I’m leaving first thing in the morning for Portland.”

  “It’s still early.” Bri looked at her watch to emphasize that it was only six. “Nobody says you have to close the bar, dear. How much did you write today?”

  “I don’t know, maybe two words?” Bri laughed. Lynn supported herself well as a freelance copywriter—composing advertising letters for various companies. She spent whatever time was left writing her novels. The manuscript she was working on was due by the end of January, and her editor would be pissed because she wasn’t getting anywhere with it. She would probably end up working more during the trip home than she’d originally planned.

  Lynn stretched out her legs on the coffee table and studied Bri as she settled in and took a sip of her wine. Bri’s blond hair glowed next to Lynn’s black mane, and although only an inch shorter than Lynn, she was also seven years older. Bri was striking in an elegant sort of way, and Lynn had been attracted to her from the moment they met at the animal shelter—the day Lynn adopted Oscar and Bri adopted a dog for her mother. Their sexual relationship had lasted only a few months three years earlier, but they remained good friends.

  Bri, a psychologist, had plenty to say about Lynn’s unrequited love for Jessica Greenfield. According to Bri, Lynn’s feelings for Jessie made it impossible for Lynn to have any kind of long-term relationship. But it had nothing to do with Jessie. Lynn had convinced herself over the years that she would have more fun single than she could ever have in a relationship.

  “You cut your hair.” Lynn’s tone was casual. “Short looks really good on you, Bri.”

  “Thank you.” Bri glanced at Lynn before shifting on the couch in order to face her. She ran her fingers through the back of Lynn’s hair once. “And yours looks better since you’ve decided to let it grow to your shoulders. With a purse, some makeup, and a new pair of shoes, you could actually pass as a straight girl.”

  “Plenty of straight women don’t carry a purse or wear makeup. And I don’t need those things to pass as straight. My share of men ask me out.” Lynn smiled at her. “I also don’t need twenty-seven pairs of shoes in my closet. Besides that, I don’t want to be a femme.”

  “It wouldn’t hurt you to wear something other than tennis shoes, you know.” Bri gave her a playful shove on the arm. “Frankly, I’m surprised you even noticed that I cut my hair. You aren’t usually very observant of things like that. You remind me of my ex-husband that way.”

  “Ouch.” Lynn winced and placed her hand over her heart as she looked at Bri. “Am I really that bad?”

  “Sometimes—but you have your moments.” Bri gave her a quick once-over, shaking her head. “Go change so we can get there early.”

  “I’m not going.”

  “I’ve never known you to pass up a wet T-shirt contest before.” Bri smiled slightly. “What’s going on with you?”

  “I’m thinking it would be unwise to drive six hundred miles with a hangover. I’m tired, Bri. Nothing’s going on with me.” Lynn put her feet on the floor and placed her elbows on her knees. “You’re watching Oscar for me, right?”

  “That cat hates me.”

  “He doesn’t hate you.” Lynn laughed at Bri’s look of apprehension. “He just hasn’t warmed up to you yet.”

  “Warmed up to me?” Bri sounded incredulous. “You’ve had him for almost three years, Lynn. Christ, I was even there the day you picked him out at the shelter. And he still hisses at me when I try to pet him.”

  “He picked me,” Lynn said, with an affectionate glance in Oscar’s direction. “Besides, you know where his food is, and you already have a key to the loft. I’ll be back by New Year’s Eve.”

  Lynn finished her wine and watched Bri, who was shaking her head. Bri would take care of Oscar, she always did. Despite her protests, Bri cared about him almost as much as Lynn did. But there was only one way to get her to agree. With a sigh, Lynn finally gave in.

  “Okay,” she said. “I’ll go with you tonight if you’ll tend to him.”

  “And enter the contest?”

  “Don’t push your luck.”

  “You could win.”

  “Probably.” Lynn nodded, and Bri slapped her good-naturedly on the thigh. “But come on—what fun would it be to let everyone see my tits?”

  “What difference does it make? They’ve all seen them anyway.”

  “Wow. You sound a tad jealous, Ms. Cabot. Just because I get lucky once in a while—”

  “Once in a while, my ass.” Bri guffawed. “My God, Lynn, you could walk into that bar and within ten minutes be on yo
ur way home with some woman. What irks me the most is that you know it. You could bring home a different woman every night of the week without even thinking about it.”

  “But I don’t, do I? Despite what everyone thinks of me, I’m not a player. But I sure as hell could be, based on the local sales of my books. I refuse to use my fame to help me pick up a woman, though. You know as well as I do that I don’t need my status as a hot author to get a woman.”

  Lynn attempted to stand so she could get more wine, but Bri grabbed her forearm and pulled her back down. Lynn was more surprised than anything, but refused to let it show. Bri’s grip didn’t lessen. “You are jealous, aren’t you, Bri?”

  “You’re lucky I know you’re not as cocky as you’d like people to believe,” Bri said. “I’m about to give you a bit of advice.”

  “Are you going to charge me for this impromptu session?”

  “I couldn’t be your therapist now, even if I wanted to. You should feel privileged that I don’t make you pay.” Bri finally loosened her hold on Lynn’s arm. “You may not believe this, Lynn, but it really doesn’t bother me to see you with other women. I know you and I are friends, and nothing more. I’m all right with that, really. Some of those women you take home, though, have hopes of being more than a one-night stand. You’re young, talented, famous, and extremely sexy. Who wouldn’t want you? The point is, no one can have you—not completely. Not as long as Jessica Greenfield has this power over you. She has such a hold on your soul that she could never even begin to fathom its enormity. That isn’t fair to those women you bring home, and it isn’t fair to you either.”

  “So you advise me to grow up and move on?” Lynn’s tone was flippant, though she really didn’t mean it to be. Before Bri could respond, she continued. “Look, I had a crush on her in high school, but she is not the reason I’m not in a relationship. We’ve had this discussion before. I don’t want to settle down, Bri. I like being single. I like the freedom that being single gives me.”